Thursday, October 19, 2006

Warning: Whiny bitchy self-pitying crap ahead

Your blog is a place where you can be yourself, right? (Well, except for those weirdos who use their blogs to be somebody else, but anyway...) So I’m normally a happy, go with the flow kinda gal with lots of silly thoughts to share. However lately circumstances keep crapping on my good mood and I just can’t help but lose sight of the optimism sometimes.

The vast majority of people know what it feels like to be monetarily stretched thin. Like really thin. To the point where I can see little holes forming and see through to the other side. Lots of people know this feeling. I know my circumstances are not unique by any means. But that doesn’t keep my whiny ass from bitching about it now and then.

That green-eyed monster likes to knock on my door sometimes, and sometimes I’m stupid enough to let it in. I envy people with vision, ambition and creative insight. People who have ideas that are actually unique and viable, and the drive to make it happen. These entrepreneuers make successes out of their own ideas and hard work. They love what they do, they get rich from it. I envy that.

I might have the drive if I actually came up with any breakthrough ideas, but the reality is I make an awesome grunt. I don’t mind the daily grind of a set schedule and the same duties every day. My creativity is limited to being silly. I’m a great supporter but a reluctant leader. I suppose we can’t all be visionary leaders. Who would do all the work needed for success? Nothing would ever get accomplished because everyone’s busy doing for themselves.

Okay I’m feeling better. I just woke up on the self-pitying side of the bed this morning. I have a role and I’m good at it. It’s totally unglamorous and I’ll never become wealthy, but society needs people like me. Badly. There are too many loser assholes (like my deadbeat tenant) who don’t want to be any kind of contributing member of society. They’re perfectly happy with handouts. Lazy fucks.

Whoops, almost went on another crazed rant about the leech-bitch still squatting in my rental. Anyone who causes me to act this way really needs to get fed to rabid wolves. Or pushed into a pool of starving pirrhanas. Or strampled by stampeding wildebeasts. Falling into a volcano would suit me just fine as well.

Okay this pity party is over. I have grunt work to do.