Saturday, February 11, 2006
The things you find in a car wash mini-mart
I just got back from the car wash, aren’t I efficient? My car is so happy. I felt so guilty for neglecting it so long I gave it the “Diamond Package”.
A lot of these car washes have little mini-marts in them where they sell things like air fresheners and greeting cards. (They usually have a decent selection to choose from too.) This one in particular, I just have to tell you about. First thing I noticed was a little rack of cassette tapes. Casette tapes. Not a single CD in sight. Perplexed, I examined the titles. They varied from “Coors Country” to “Here Comes the Bride”. WTF? Can you imagine any bride-to-be walking in there, paying for her car wash, then exclaiming, “Oh gosh! Look! I haven’t been able to decide on what kind of music to play at my wedding, but they’ve got just what I need right here! What an amazing find! And how did they know the venue I chose has no CD player? This tape is perfect!"
Over in the other corner was a freezer. I took a peek inside because I love ice cream. It was completely empty except for five Big Sticks and an ice cream cup. They all had that frosted-over look of having been melted and refrozen several times.
In another corner were a couple of arcade games—Ms. PacMan and Zaxxon. Wow, the units themselves looked like they were built in the 80s. A sign above told patrons to “Play at your own risk” and I noticed one of the coin slots was taped over. Quarter eater.
There was also a rack of el-cheapo sunglasses with ultra-cool names like XLoop, Adrenalin and Choppers. Lots of mirror shades in various colors, all for $9.99! Don’t laugh, I actually bought a pair of these. I find that the cheapy sunglasses are usually more comfortable than their expensive counterparts. Factor that in with the fact that I like to sit on them, and you’ll understand why I buy them.
To complete this mini-mart scene are two interesting machines: a “Palm Reader” and a “How Loveable Are You” machine. You might as well stick a thermometer up your ass and get a reading, that’s how useful these things are.
Anyway, my car is clean and happy now. Time to eat breakfast!
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Categories: • Random Crap