Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Reverse Darwinism
Society isn’t natural. It rewards people who should have killed themselves off long ago. Case in point:
There’s this lady, I don’t remember what her name is, nor do I give a rat’s ass. She buys a 32-foot Winnebago and, on one of her trips, does something completely… so utterly… off-the-charts… I just- okay. I’m obviously at a loss as to describe the magnitude of her stupidity, so let me just tell you what she did. She’s driving on the freeway and sets the cruise control on her RV to go at 70 miles an hour… then proceeds to climb into the back and fix herself a sandwich… ... ... Yes, I know. It boggles the brain. Let me say it again, just to be clear. She sets the cruise control on her Winnebago RV to go 70mph on the freeway, and then leaves the driver’s seat to go fix a sandwich!
But wait, that’s not the best part! Not only does the bitch survive the crash, she sues the manufacturer for “neglecting” to write in their user’s manual that she was not supposed to do this. She sues them. And wins. She wins the fucking lawsuit. What. The. Fuck.
First of all, I seriously doubt she even knew where the manual was, let alone read it. Secondly, did she get smacked in the head repeatedly with VHS taped episodes of Knight Rider or something? Since when do cars drive and steer themselves?? It’s Cruise Control, not fucking Auto Pilot!
And what did this… this fucktard (hooray I got to use my new vocabulary word!) get out of all this? She wins a brand new Winnebago and ...a million dollars. A million fucking dollars awarded to the queen of morons who long ago should have chopped her own head off with a butter knife because the manual didn’t tell her not to.
Maybe I should go back to my home planet.
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