Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Pre-breakfast state of mind
This morning I was looking in the fridge to see if there were any leftovers I could take for lunch. There was none, but I saw a container of tofu. In my pre-breakfast state of mind (for the rest of you, you can equate this to a pre-coffee state of mind. I don’t drink coffee, so breakfast is my coffee.), a revelation occurred to me that I never thought of before. Tofu sounds a lot like kung-fu. Tofu… the ancient art of taking life using nothing but the strength and cunning of your toes. Yes, I can see the movie now…
Please recite in overacted, badly dubbed english:
“So, you think your tofu is strong? If you want to fight, fight me! Hii-YAAH!”
Yes, I adored kung-fu movies as a child. The coordinated movements fascinated me, and the cheesy sound effects only hightened the excitement for me. I would sometimes imitate the movements on TV. This spurred me to take a karate class. My mom signed me up. I went to three classes and decided, “Damn this is boring.” It’s so much better on TV. I just wanted to be an expert already, not go through this whole learning process crap. I wanna be like Neo in The Matrix where they just plug a chip into your brain and voila you’re a black belt. How cool is that? Just plug it in, then you can open your eyes and say, “I know kung fu.”
Back to the tofu. The food, not the imaginary martial art. I like the stuff. I can open the carton, pour soy sauce over it and just eat it like that. I can’t recall ever cooking with it. Maybe once. I can’t remember. My mom uses it all the time, you’d think I would’ve picked up some of that. I just don’t have that creative chef gene. I need recipes. Give me directions to follow and I can make anything.
There is ONE thing though, that I am proud to say I require no directions… I can make won tons! I made them so many times with my mom growing up it’s embedded in my brain. Talk about a pain-staking process. It takes hours. And if it doesn’t, it sure feels like it. Maybe I’m doing it wrong. Hmm… It’s been a year since I last made ‘em. Time to get back into practice!
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Categories: • Mmmmm food • The TV ate my brain