Saturday, January 21, 2006

Oh crap, how could I forget?

Perhaps the single most fascinating part of my date last night wasn’t the movie (which was really good) or even the hog slop they called food. It was the completely weirdo freakazoid sitting just one seat away from me with the Rapunzel hair. Now, I’m not the judgemental type who goes around calling people who are a little different freakazoids. But you just had to see this guy. I really wanted to take a picture of him to share it with you guys, but I there’s just no way to do that without being obvious. Plus it was too dark for a cell phone camera.

I’ll try to paint a picture of him with words, try to imagine this. This mid-twenties guy shows up, tall and really skinny, and sits just one seat away from you. He’s all alone. At first glance you immediately think he’s wearing some kind of Lion King wig. He’s got this reddish-blondish hair, and lots of it. It is LONG long hair. But he’s got it sort of trimmed so the front part is down to his shoulders, while the back part reaches all the way to his knees. I kid you not. From the side it had the effect of a poofy lion’s mane. From the back it was “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!” ...all the way down to his knees.

Now that alone isn’t enough for me to call him freaky. Odd, definitely. But whatever floats your boat, right? What makes this guy totally creepy is the fact that he spent the entire movie brushing it. He sat there with the tail end of his knee-length hair in his lap, and he was just combing it. It didn’t really look like grooming, that would mean brushing different parts of your head. He just kept combing and combing the same place, compulsively it would seem. Now if he had started rocking back and forth like an insane asylum refugee I probably would have changed seats right then.

After getting a good look at this guy (as discreetly as possible without staring), my sweety and I have this whispered conversation (starting with her):

"Do you want to change seats?"
"I don’t know, do you think he’ll stalk us after the movie?"
"I don’t think so."
"He seems harmless."
"I guess, but he is creepy."
"Yeah I know, but let’s stay here."