Wednesday, February 01, 2006
My Embarrassing Problem
It isn’t feminine itch, that cleared up last month. (Please realize I’m kidding. It hasn’t actually cleared up. I’m kidding! Confused? Good, let’s move on.) I’ll just spit it out. I have dandruff. I will never speak of this to anyone except my honey… and the entire world too, if in an anonymous format. Like this blog for instance.
Why is this such an embarrassing topic? Because of the stipulations that come with it, and general lack of knowledge. If a person has flakes all over themselves, the first thought that comes to mind is usually something along the lines of, “Wow that person needs to wash his hair more.” It’s like you’re labled as this dirty person, when in actuality it has nothing to do with hygiene. Well, occasionally it does. Some people really are gross.
But for most of the other poor bastards such as myself, it’s more of a scalp PH thing. Not PhD (the top of my head has not, to my knowlege, achieved a higher degree than me) but PH as in acidity. Mix in a little unique body chemistry and you’ve got yourself a blizzard. I run my hands through my hair and I’m a walking snowglobe. I hate it.
I’ve tried washing my hair more. I’ve tried washing it less. I’ve read about certain foods I should avoid to help change your PH balance, like cutting out animal fats and dairy. Cut out my ice cream, yogurt and cheese? Oh hell no! I’d rather be stuck wearing light colors than be deprived of dairy.
Apple cider vinegar was recommended as a “magical” way to eliminate dandruff. I tried it once. It wasn’t magical enough for me. Not only did the smell make me want to vomit, it was cold. Again, I would rather be stuck wearing light colors. That smell really clings to you, yech.
I also tried Nizoral, a dandruff shampoo. I think that might have worked if, well, if I wasn’t me. The instructions say to leave it on for 5 minutes, then rinse it out. Five entire minutes? That’s the length of time it takes me to get into the shower, get clean, and get out! You’re telling me I have to stand around in the shower for five extra minutes? I have no patience for such things! So I think I usually ended up rinsing it out after about one, maybe two minutes tops. *sigh* Maybe I’ll give that stuff another try. It’s better than my other options.
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Categories: • Personal Insights