Monday, April 17, 2006
Ironing out issues
Many times when I get dressed to go out somewhere with my honey, I’ll ask her, “How’s this?” and she’ll have this look of utter horror on her face. “It’s wrinkled!” she would exclaim. Nevermind the color choices I made, or whether or not the style of the top matched the style of the pants. They were wrinkled and therefore unacceptable. The awful thing is that I didn’t notice until she said something.
I hate clothes that do this to me. Tshirts I like, they don’t wrinkle while sitting in my drawer. However there are shirts hanging nicely in my closet that will come out magically wrinkled. Damn dry-clean-only pieces of- *ahem*. When I lived by myself I didn’t even own an iron. Then I met my sweetheart, who emphasized the importance of not dressing like I just rolled out of bed. That’s when I went and bought an iron. I’d never used one before. Well, my mom showed me a couple times, and I tried it a couple times, but hadn’t touched an iron since moving out.
So there I was with a brand new iron. I read the instruction booklet. It said to turn it on and after it got hot, to run it over the cloth ironing board surface a few times. I figured this was some iron breaking-in process. I don’t know. I was just following instructions. I hadn’t bought an ironing board (I wasn’t that ambitious about the ironing), so I looked around my apartment. I decided the carpet would be a great ironing surface. Nice and flat with a cloth-like surface, right?
So I sat down and applied the hot iron to the carpet. Instantly I noticed something was wrong. I don’t think there’s supposed to be that sizzling noise. I quickly lifted up the iron and, to my horror, saw that I had semi-melted a patch of carpet. I looked at the iron itself and it had melted carpet goop all over it. [Enter colorful string of curses of your choice here.] I let the iron cool down and tried to remove the goop. No joy, it was permanently glued to the surface.
Do you know anyone capable of ruining a brand new iron right after taking it out of the box? Well now you do. Mildly upset, I called my sweety to tell her what I’d done. She could not stop laughing. She would apologize, but then the laughter would start again. Yes, I was a complete moron for not knowing that carpet was made of meltable fibers. Dump me now. I’ll probably end up electrocuting myself in the bathtub trying to clean the goop off the iron.
Luckily she decided to keep on dating me. But I’ve got a pile of perma-wrinkled clothes that needs to be addressed. Watch out everyone… I might try ironing again! Maybe I should double up on the house insurance.
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