Sunday, February 19, 2006
I hope I never have to watch this again
My old friend from high school (I mean long-time friend, not old friend. We’re the same age.) came by for a visit with her 17-month old in tow. (Okay, a little tangent here. WTF is up with all the parents saying how many months their kid is after they’re over a year old? Do they relish the thought of making non-parents do dreaded mental math to figure out how old their frickin kid is? Just say “a year and a half”! Does it take that much longer to say? It would be a lot less confusing to me. Thank you!)
So anyway, this toddler needs to be entertained like every waking moment. The only time they are still is when they’re sleeping. It’s tiring just watching them, geez! One of the few forms of entertainment that actually keep her settled for more than 15 minutes is a show they’ve recorded for her, called “Boohbah“. Ever see this show? If you can help it, don’t. It’s fucking freaky. I am not kidding, it’s like some weird-ass LSD trip. It’s got these things that dance and make farting noises as they fly around. Then they have these really bad actors doing who knows what in pointless scenes with lots of colors. It’s absolutely terrible, and yet the kid is completely mesmerized by it. I don’t know whether to be relieved that it works or worried that she’s being hypnotized with scary subliminal messages.
The episode I had the misfortune of watching had this weird scene where six people on a beach are crowded around this “big drink”. It’s a 5-foot glass of red liquid with six straws sticking out of it. Is it Kool Aid? Hawaiian Punch? I don’t know, they just call it a “big drink”. These people spend the next 10 minutes dramatically taking sips out of it until it is empty. It magically refills itself and they empty it again. It’s completely pointless and bizarre. Afterwards they all collapse onto the sand and proclaim they are sleepy and tired. No wonder they were so ambiguous about what they were drinking. They just guzzled 50 gallons of bloody marys! They’re not tired, they’re drunk off their asses! And a toddler is captivated by all this. I’m afraid for this child.
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Categories: • The TV ate my brain