Tuesday, June 19, 2007
I have a confession to make
Despite all my talk about doing the right thing and wanting to help people when I can, there are times when my selfish nature rejoices. At the office, screwups happen. Maybe the wrong document was replaced on the website, or maybe part of a project was completely overlooked. When these things happen, my first thought is, “Oh shit I hope that wasn’t me.” I am so far from perfect, sometimes those screwups really are from me.
Imagine my relief when it turns out to be one of the other guys on my team. This isn’t selfish, I know. It’s just relief that I wasn’t the screwup. But deep down, I can feel it, there is a small part of me that isn’t just relieved, it’s gleeful that someone on my own team messed up because it makes me look like a better worker. I would never try to sabotage anyone in an effort to make myself look good, but if they do it on their own, I don’t feel bad for them. I secretly hope that they make more mistakes than me for this reason.
No matter how objective people try to be, we’re all graded on a curve. I could work harder and outshine everyone, but it’s so much easier when others around you shine less. Right? Does that make me lazy? Insecure? Probably. I’m not proud of it, but there it is.
(5) Comments • Permalink
Categories: • Office Hijinks • Personal Insights