Tuesday, February 21, 2006
How do I not have cable?
In the last post, C-8 asked me in a comment, “How do you not have cable? Seriously, are you Amish or something?” It’s a very good question, one that I’ve been meaning to address but have been putting off for just this occasion.
The answer is yes. I am part of a very progressive Amish village in California. They allow the use of television, Tivos and electric shavers. Yes, we are allowed to shave. Men too. But unfortunately they draw the line at cable and internet. They don’t want the evil forces of uncensored media corrupting our society. I’ve managed to cleave together my own wireless network using a vast array of spoons and coat hangers. I tell the elders it is my weather-predicting experiment. They’re so gullible. However I have been stymied at every attempt to steal cable. They’ve got newfangled filters they put on all the lines. But that’s okay, at least I’ve got satellite radio reception hidden under my bonnet.
Actually I’m just kidding. I don’t have satellite radio.
Ahem, okay, the real story. I’ve had cable all my life, up until last year when my sweetheart and I took on this huge mortgage. Since then we’ve decided that $50 a month just isn’t worth it (it doesn’t even include HBO or Showtime!) That’s how we started looking to reality TV shows as entertainment. (I didn’t say it was quality programming, but you gotta admit, a lot of it is entertaining.) We miss HGTV (Home & Garden Television), Bravo and Discovery Channel. But such is life. We’re not destitute or anything. We weren’t willing to sacrifice our cell phones, high speed internet or our Tivo service. It’s all about decisions. We made ours. And now we’re just… the mutants with no cable.
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Categories: • General Silliness