Monday, April 17, 2006

Girlfriend Etiquette

When you call your sweetheart to tell her you’re on your way home from work, and she answers her phone with, “There are so many fucking people here!” the proper response is not laughter. I repeat, do not laugh. Laughter does not convey the proper sense of sympathy or empathetic outrage that the situation calls for. Plus it’s not very nice.

Quickly following up with a sincere, “Poor baby...” will usually keep her rage from being redirected at you. Follow it with promises to make everything better when she comes home, and all will be well.

This has been a public service announcement.

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