Monday, April 10, 2006
Even if I'm dying, do NOT send me here
We decided to go visit a friend in the hospital today. We drove over to the state hospital (where folks with no insurance go) and went in. The first thing we are greeted by is a metal detector and a guard who searches through your belongings. What is this, a freaking courtroom? A prison? It’s a hospital for crying out loud. What is this world coming to?
After we get past that we’re faced with several hallways branching in multiple directions. What a freaking maze! We followed one hallway after another until we finally found the elevators. Along the way we pass by throngs of people waiting around in various states of unwellness. It does not smell clean and sterile like I expect hospitals to smell. It made us walk a little faster.
We go up to the ICU and ask the nurse what room our friend is in. Five minutes of “How do you spell that again?” later, we find out she’s been discharged already. WTF? Okay fine. I guess we’re being punished for not visiting sooner. Just because you’re sicker than us does not automatically mean we’re in any condition for travel. The friend who picked her up has weird issues. But that’s beside the point. We wasted our incredibly valuable lazing time!
So we walk back to the elevators to get out of this place. The first car is full, so we wait. The next car has 2 wheelchairs and people, so we keep waiting. When the third car arrives it’s half full of people. We’re standing next to two wheelchairs, so we let them in first. It fills up and they leave. At this point I’m ready to jump out the window. “Screw the elevators, where are the damn stairs??” I mutter angrily, stomping off in some random direction. Of course that’s when the next elevator car arrives. My sweety’s already in it so I have to scamper over there before the doors close. And damn do they close fast! Most hospitals I’ve ever been in have elevator doors that take forever to close. These doors try repeatedly to crush people, especially those stuck in wheelchairs.
We finally reach the ground floor and are immediately disoriented. Uhh… where did we come in? Sweety points to an exit sign, so we head over there. It look unfamiliar, so we go back. We see another exit sign… and another. WTF? There are exit signs everywere!
We manage to find our way back through the throngs of unwell (and unwashed) masses and escape out into the cloudy afternoon. Sweety takes a deep breath and exclaims, “Oh clean air, thank god!” I breathe deeply too, not realizing how stuffy and generally unpleasant the air was inside. She continues with, “How many diseases did we just walk through??”
Eww, I hadn’t thought about that either. I reply, “I think I’m going to go home and swallow some bleach.”
Nothing like a visit to the state hospital to make you quit whining about your monthly health insurance fees. Whatever it takes to keep me out of that place I will gladly pay.
Speaking of hospitals, you should go visit my renter. She’s got some really good stories to tell about them. She’s a really great storyteller, so go check her out!
(12) Comments • (0) Trackbacks • Permalink
Categories: • Grrrrrr...