Friday, February 10, 2006
Enough with the boinking already!
If you haven’t met my furballs yet, you might want to take a quick jaunt and do so, I’m about to talk about them again (and I don’t use their real names because they asked me not to, paranoid little yappers).
We’ve been meaning to take Little Brat to get spayed. It’s one of those things that you know you have to do, but you also know you don’t have to do it right now. So we didn’t. We told ourselves we just need to bring her in before her next heat cycle and we’ll be fine. Well guess what (hamster butt!) we waited too long. We now have an insatiable horndog on our hands.
She used to launch into a barking frenzy every single time this little Pekanese walked by our house. She would alternate between barking through the window and running to the back yard to bark through the gate. If you were to put words in her mouth, they would sound something like, “Hey you stumpy little intruder, I’ll rip your froo-froo fur out with my little chihuahua teeth! Yeah that’s right, walk away you lilly livered excuse for a canine!"
But yesterday, as I was getting the mail out of the box, she ran out of the house. There was that Pekanese again walking by our house with his owner. Did she bark? Oh no, not at all. She ran right up to him and immediately started doing her little “fuck me” dance, waving her furry little butt in his face. I could almost hear her saying, “Hey there big boy… I’ve got something for you...” Slut.
The day before that I was on the lazyboy watching TV. The doggies usually lay on my lap the whole time, for lack of anything else to do. But that night they just couldn’t sit still. Big Pest was resting contentedly, but Little Brat would have none of it. He’s the only male in the household, so of course she’s going to be following him everywhere. It didn’t matter that he’s neutered. So here she was, waving her ass in his face that night, and that’s all it took. He climbed right on top of her and started humping… right in my lap.
All day long they follow each other around, going nuts with the boinking. They usually follow me to bed when I go to sleep at night. Last night they stayed up for an extra hour of banging. In the mornings they usually stay in bed as I leave for work because it’s cold. This morning they got up at 6am with me to start their fuckfest early. Enough with the boinking already!
Serves us right for being so lazy. Now we’ve got another six months to spay her before this happens again. I hope we’re able to get off our asses in time!
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Categories: • Warm-n-Fuzzy Pets