Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Doc, what do these dreams mean?
Had a couple of weird dreams last night, so of course I have to share them. In the first one, I got hired to be the primary stockperson for some store’s CornNuts section. Apparently they had like five different flavors of CornNuts and the display was so extensive they needed an exclusive CornNut stockperson to keep track of it all. And that person was me. CornNut stockperson extraordinaire. CornNut in Chief, if you will.
The next one is a lot weirder. Let me preface this by saying that whenever I’m dreaming and my bladder is full, the dreams tend to be centered around my nether region.
Okay, so in this dreamworld I guess genitals are interchangeable. You can pop yours off and lend it to a friend. From what I can remember, this guy lent me his penis. I don’t remember him giving it to me, I just had it. So I’m standing in a room by myself, swinging in the breeze. Weeeee! Ding dong ding dong. It’s like a foot-long hot dog down there. It’s kinda neat.
I think I thought about, you know, spanking it, but I fell asleep instead. What a waste of a wiener. Upon waking up (in the dream) I really needed to pee. The guy that owns the penis walks in and I’m afraid he wants to take it back before I had a chance to do anything with it. Fortunately he just picks up the cell phone he’d accidentally left behind and then leaves again. Yay I get to try peeing with this thing! So I go to the bathroom, and in a huge fit of moronic forgetfulness, I sit down. I end up peeing on the toilet, on the floor, what a mess. What an idiot.
It’s right about then that I wake up for real, and I really do need to pee. Yes I have my female parts back. And no I have no desires to be a man. Although not dealing with the monthly bleeding thing would be nice.
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Categories: • Okay that's just weird