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Great post! I have to admit, after being married for nine years (and actually being with him for twelve years), we’ve grown comfortable and it makes me sad. We only say “I love you” when one of us is walking out the door or when we’re rolling over to go to sleep at night. We never hold hands. Hell, we never go anywhere together. It makes me very sad. And I’ve told him about it and tried to change it.
Who knows...maybe in time their views will change hopefully. I consider myself very open-minded now but that wasn’t always the case. 15-20 years ago my views were a lot different...so different in fact that I would have been someone you had no time for due to the beliefs I held then.
I think it’s great that you have someone in your life that you love and that obviously loves you...gender/sexual orientation be damned.
I also think it says a lot about you that you understand how her family feels and the respect/love you have for her in this area.
You’re a good person and that’s all that matters.
Sorry for the mini-post in your comment section.
Hi there ! 
I’ve been reading your blog for about a month now and I really enjoy it. I think you’re 100% right when you say that you should never take things for granted. When it comes to holding hands in public, I’m not totally comfortable. Well, it always depends of the person you’re with! Don’t think I was ashamed of my last partner but I never really was attracted to him that way, never felt the need to “show” our love in public. It’s over now… maybe I should have! If you really care about the person you’re with, then I say touch him, kiss him, show him that you’re there and love him every moment you can. ;-P
PS: I know, english isn’t my first language. Hope I’m making sense!
Dave.
I think that on some level, they MUST know what’s going on. However, I can understand why you guys wouldn’t want to just throw it in their faces, for fear of a very bad reaction. If they know, they don’t want affirmation. Sucks.
I agree w/ Heather. After 8 years, all the little romantic things are gone here, as well. Wonder why that is? So, def enjoy them while you can!!! (It might be different for 2 girls, tho’. If you don’t add an idiot guy in the mix, romantic things may stay around a hell of a lot longer!! But, I’m not bitter, or anything.... )
I agree with Mike <i>"[it] says a lot about you that you understand how her family feels and the respect/love you have for her in this area."</i>
I love those little moments that are just between me and Mr. EC, be it a look or a little touch.
When he has to go away on detachment it’s things like holding hands, smiling at each other, a gentle hug or kiss, that I miss the most and so I treasure every single one when he is here with me. I hope the intimacy never ends.
Great post (as usual GDG )
...we’ve been together 6 years btw.
Well, at least you’re BOTH invited.
My Catholic Aunt refuses to even acknowledge her son’s lover and they’ve been together over 10 years! My cousin will come to visit (from another country, mind you, WITHOUT his lover) and she won’t even say, “So how is Daniel?”, nothing.
I’m SO proud of my mom because she always asks my cousin how his boyfriend is.
I know what you mean about little things. It just dawned on me that I don’t kiss my husband goodbye before I leave for work anymore. I don’t know if I just forgot when Dawson was born? Or if we’re just in a hurry and don’t think of it? I read your entry and immediately called him to say I loved him.
Is your sweety’s family Catholic? They sound Catholic. My Catholic mother really gets down on my sister and me for having friends who are gay and lesbian. She thinks we’re sinners. It saddens me. She won’t acknowledge the topic. For example, I was with my sister at my parents house and told her how I went to a male/female gay bar in Chicago with a friend and had the most amazing time (I had been afraid to go before, but finally gave in --that’s another topic all together) and my mom got up and left the room after telling me I was going straigt to hell for not trying to “convert them back to hetero relationships”. I laughed so hard at her I think I made her mad. I love my mom very much, but I don’t love her closed mindedness sometimes.
Kiss your sweety and tell you love her! Love is the sweetest thing.
Heather, I think when you lose the intimacy, things start to get stale. Love needs to be maintained like flowers.
Mike, I’m glad you’ve become more open-minded. Being closed off to certain segments of the population just limits you to the number of good people you can get to know.
David, you made perfect sense, and I agree with you.
Adena, I think they likely know on some level, but confirmation would just make things really strained between them. I’d never want to jeopardize that. We’ve been together 7 years now, and we make it a point to share little moments when we can.
Sarah, nothing makes you appreciate something, or someone, more than when they’re gone.
Annie, yes I’m lucky that they like me. They know that I’m a good person and would never do anything to hurt them or Mar.
Dana, they’re not Catholic, but still extremely conservative. Christians can be religiously narrow and discriminating too.
Why is the woman in that picture holding her hand over one eye, with the other one closed?
HOW IS SHE GOING TO SEE?!?
What a great post. My honey and I are like this too. Although our families know and don’t voice any concerns with it, there are still members of the family that are not comfortable with it. When we are in their home, we are respectful. But stealing those little moments are great!
BTW, I did exactly as you said and went to give my baby a kiss. Problem is, she’s napping after a very long week of work and school so I almost got knocked out. But it was worth it!
Kel, she’s playing hide-n-seek and you’re not supposed to peek until you finish counting.
Unbalanced, I’m sure in retrospect she really appreciated the kiss. 
You know, I’ve never understood why it is so hard for people to accept change. WTFever. At least you can go together. I agree, steal the moments when you can.
THis was beautiful. Thank you for the lovely reminder.
I totally know what you mean with the little touches here and there. I know longer live that lifestyle but I did at one time (now married with a man). And I hated it when my girlfriend wasn’t open with friends or family and everything had to be hidden. Those little touches mean so much. I do how ever still do those little touches with my husband even though we have nothing we have to keep secret. It still is fun and it does keep the magic alive. Been married 6 years now.
I will be coming back to your blog alot i think
Hotband and I forever steal little glances with smiles at one another. We’ve been together for seven years. We still snuggle on the couch together. He just told me, a few moments ago, how pretty my hair is. A few hours before that, he told me how he feels lucky to have me in his life, everytime he looks at me. I always ruffle his hair whenever I walk past him while he is on the computer working. The moment you lose those intimate little gestures, the moment you become complacent in your relationship...it’s not a relationship any longer. It’s “roommates” and I am not willing to be married to someone who merely lives with me. Marriage or any long term relationship is WORK. Hard work. It is the responsibility of both parties to keep it exciting and wonderful. If one person falters, then the other should pick up the slack. Lead by example, if you will.
Nice post. I wish you two were able to share the love with the world. Someday, I hope that is possible for you, GDG. You deserve that.
CP.
That was a heart-wrenching post. Thank you for writing it. I hope that eventually you too will have that luxury.
(btw: I can’t remember if I’ve introduced myself before, so Hi! I’m new here, but loving your posts. I found you through italk2much.com and have been reading ever since.)
That is lovely, and I agree. Gotta respect others and their homes, yet it doesn’t mean you have to act *dead* to each other while in the parents home.
You guys are so great, I got misty reading your comments.
CP you are absolutely right, when you lose the intimacy you become merely roommates.
Heather, I know what you mean. Those little gestures are kinda exciting sometimes, even if it doesn’t need to be a secret.
Maria, glad you could join us! I love it when lurkers pop up to say hello. 
Donna, I agree, respect is important, but not to the point where you’re sacrificing too much.
It is the little things that matter, ain’t it? *sigh*
I hope one day they’re able to accept the way things are. They must know on some level.
It’s good that you keep the intimacy alive in your relationship. Mr. T and I are like that. We’re always grabbing each other. Once that’s gone, it’s pretty much in the shitter so we keep up on that stuff and we’ve been together 5 1/2 years.
I think its awfully generous of you to even go and hang out there. I am not sure I would.
hey there, nice weblog!
Here in the Netherlands 2 ladies (or dudes for that matter) holding hands isn’t really that big of a deal, but there are some people who just get bulging-eyes-and-dropping-jaw-syndrome
. But we found a cure for that, me and my sweety: we stare back real hard.....It mostly results in people walking into trees and stuff, it’s HILARIOUS! 
And we are still holding hands, while rolling on the street laughing like crazy!
Dutchlady, that is awesome. Stare back at the people gawking at you and make ‘em squirm like they were doing to you. Walking into trees, that’s funny!
sure is funny! but I did forget to mention: we were in this local (define local....) bisexual bar, where everyone is allowed, hetero’s too. So I was just sitting at the bar with my girl, and somebody just slaps the back of my head! Me, being loaded, started to cry, I was soooooo mad! 
And this was somebody of our own generation, y’know? Must be me, being a camouflaged blondie....Fact remains that we probably have an easier life over here, than you guys over there. If even little gestures of affection are something to go to hell for, than I guess I belong somewhere way worse than hell! LET’S PARTY!!! 
So true. And I love those little stolen moments.
zoe | 05.06.2006 | 9:47 AM