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It’s a completely infuriating situation, isn’t it? Some people need to get their signals straightened out. And thanks for the vote!! 
I would be hard pressed to think of a time when a cute girl was interested in me. But lie most things I would handle it with the inherent grace I possess. (Provided grace involves heavy panting and drooling.)
*snickers*
I don’t think I have ever had a cute girl like me(not to my knowledge anyway) but boys I have. I always gave them CLEAR signals I just wanted to be friends. At least I thought they were clear but then they would end up hanging around and get really mad and not be my friend anymore when I hooked up with someone else(which actually would hurt me b/c I thought they were really my friend). So, I guess it wasn’t so clear. I’m not sure how else “I’m so glad you’re my friend” or “I like you as my friend” could be taken but I guess when you really want to see it, you ignore all the signs that it’s just not there.
Mike, nothing gets your point across better than heavy panting and drooling, hehe.
Deb, I can see how signals that were clear to you may have been completely overlooked by them. Infatuations have a way of clouding your reasoning centers. Also, I’m going to reword that last paragraph a little so it’s more universal. Thanks for sharing!
I would be gently honest with someone I was romantically interested in. It’s what I would want in return.
Lately, I’ve discovered that the direct, honest approach works. Nothing brutal or anything, just being honest. So far, it’s working out for me. But, it’s only Monday.
I think direct honesty is the best approach. Relying on signals is not. If you leave any room for hope on their part, they will latch onto it like a lifeline.
I worked with a girl once who had just had her first lesbian experience and she was so cute because she’d come to work and tell me that her new girlfriend “spooned” her and she’d fill me in on her exciting new life. She and I flirted with each other a lot, both of us knowing that we’d never hook up. It was all in fun.
I’ve had male friends get crushes on me, but I made it clear that we were only friends. Although, I’m not going to pretend to be perfect. I enjoy the attention (on the rare occasion I get it) and I’ve played along with the flirting game.
Sadly, I haven’t had many people fall for me like that so it’s never been a big issue.
Man, I would never date a Bi, you’d have to worry about BOTH genders trying to pick up on him. But anyway, I’m honest. I had a guy crazy about me once and I would tell him, we’re just friends. Pretty soon ALL his friends were like “Your girlfriend...” And I’d say “I ain’t NO one’s girlfriend”. He’d just always act all protective of me and even if we were sitting at the bar, he’d have to skooch all close and put his foot on the rung of my chair.
I finally had to sleep with one of his friends (who was a total HOT babe, dang it) for him to get the picture.
LOL! Annie, nothing like sleeping with someone’s friend to get the point across!
Heather, flirting can be fun. Makes everyone feel good about themselves, so long as it’s always understood that it’s fun and nothing else. I just don’t do much of it myself.
Mmkay, here is a semi-secret on me...I once had a girl who was interested in me and ya’ know...I wondered...sooo...we became fast friends. Couldn’t pry us apart with a crowbar. We did EVERYthing together--bar hopping, classes, tanning, Spring Break, etc.
And then...she wanted sex. I was okay with the fooling around part...making out, but NOT okay with going “all the way.” (Heh. That felt so high school to say that.) It was getting a little “Single White Female” in our apartment, so I split. She wasn’t interested in being JUST my friend, she wanted me as a lover...which I wasn’t comfortable being.
We grew apart since she just couldn’t put it behind her. I miss her terribly sometimes, but I’m still in contact with her cousin. She’s married now to a guy and has a child. They own a hotel. Wow...what a difference a few years make, huh?
I guess sometimes the best way to deal with it is to just get out of there. So she went to guys after you, eh? I guess it was either you or no girl at all!
Yeah, ‘cuz I’m mad sexzeeeee an all. lol
I am in a situation now somewhere along this line. I am terribly interested in a girl, and I keep getting mixed signals from her. She draws me close, and pushes me away. And my heart is being pulled to pieces.
We have become very good friends, and I’m not willing to risk losing a good friend by literally fucking it up at this point. So, we continue doing the dance till one of us gives up or gives in.
W.
The funny thing is that when you meet people like this and they know that someone likes them. They take full advantage...like this girl did. Hey, you live and learn. Atleast one hopes!
I would never be interested to start dating a BI. Not unless I just wanted to fuck. Other than that...those are just fustrated bitches that aren’t sure if they like dick or pussy!!
Wendy, it’s a tough situation to be in, I know. It certainly does feel like your heart is being pulled in different directions. It wasn’t until I saw her kissing someone else that I finally realized it wasn’t going to be me. It was like a cold splash of water. It was unpleasant, but it woke me out of the haze I was in.
Mar, I think you’re right. Some people know exactly how you feel and just bask in the attention, never intending to reciprocate. It makes them feel better, but at your expense.
I once had this infatuation with a married man who gave me great advice when I was having problems in my own marriage. He was charming, daring, sexy, elusive--basically I was addicted to him. He’d lure me in and then throw me back like a dead fish. I knew nothing would ever come of our relationship other than friendship and occasionaly flirting. But then one day he professed his “feelings” for me and when I confessed I felt the same, he “Changed his mind.” He said he lied and didn’t feel the same way I did. I was completely confused, baffled, stunned...what the HELL was he THINKING? I still don’t know. This comment is rambling and I apologize, but I can totally relate. BTW, I love your blog. Thanks for the smiles.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts Dana. So many times when we’re in the middle of an infatuation, reason just goes out the window. Later on when we can finally think clearly again, we think, “What the hell was I thinking??”
So, I’ve never had a cute girl interested in me (to my knowledge), but I sure know what I felt (feels) like when I am in that same situation only with a boy. I am currently in a sitch just like that....getting COMPLETELY mixed signals from someone, while going through a terribly painful thing with another.
GRRRRRRRR!
p.s. - I voted for you!
Lucy | 04.24.2006 | 8:32 AM