Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Catching elusive thoughts
I’ve always been a writer. When I say “writer” I don’t mean a self-proclaimed author of several self-published books. Hell no. I have no such delusions (I have other things to be delusional about). (Actually I have made several attempts at starting books, but I never finish because I lose interest or inspiration too quickly.)
I mean I’ve always preferred to put my thoughts down into print rather than talk about them. It really helps me to organize and analyze them. Back when I used to live by myself I would bang out pages and pages into a Word doc, just ranting to myself about whatever I was feeling. I was often more able to get a handle on things afterwards and therefore make better decisions. When I go back and read them years later I sometimes wonder how I could have been such a whiny, melodramatic drama queen at the time. Hmm… maybe I haven’t changed that much. But still, it did help me figure out that I was gay. It helped me figure out what I was dissatisfied about in a relationship. One fleeting thought would lead to another, then another. Then after reading what I wrote, I would realize a complete thought, a complete set of feelings. It worked much better than me trying to chase them down in my head during a conversation or even just laying on the couch. I don’t run 300 miles an hour like my thoughts do.
Well anyway, writing in a blog is different from all that. When I started it I was a little hesitant because you are opening yourself up to other people’s comments, possibly ridicule. But what surprised me were the number like-minded people that are out there. It’s nice to be a unique personality and all, but it’s also very comforting to know that there are others who share some of my quirks, experiences and ideals. It’s awesome actually.
Okay, it’s addicting. I’m a junkie. I just wanted to take a bit of time to thank everyone who comes by and helps me support my habit by commenting. I’m being sappy and stupid, I know, but I feel I must express my appreciation today. Tomorrow I’ll go back to complaining about something.
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Categories: • Personal Insights