Thursday, September 25, 2008
I guess my mom is an equal opportunity psycho
I talked to my sister about my most recent blowup with my mom. She then told me about how she does similar crap regarding her husband. She’s told my sister things like, “You need to do this if he ever leaves you,” or “I don’t like how he [insert normal behavior here],” and even, “You can’t trust men.” There’s being protective of your daughters and the natural tendency to think that no one is good enough for your kids, but come on. Constant warnings about your spouse is more than just annoying. We’ve both come to the conclusion that our mom has no idea what a normal, loving relationship is.
It’s comforting to know that your sister is on your side. She was telling me about the time my mom and I both went to visit her in her new Texas home. Apparently my mom didn’t want me to bring Areli with me. She had privately told my sister that she was disappointed because she was hoping for more “family time” together. My sister, always more outspoken than me, plainly told her, “She IS family mom.” She told me she was rewarded with a glare from my mom, but it shut her up. Good for you sis! You rock.
To quote my sister, “My husband and I have given up trying to understand her and we’ve just labeled her as psycho. It makes it easier to deal with the things she comes up with. “ My sentiments exactly. My sweety could never understand this bizarre family dynamic with my mom, but she understands my relationship with her a lot better now. She was finally able to see firsthand that my mom really is kind of psycho, so we just have to ignore it when we can.
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Geeky Dragon Girl on 09/25 at 11:03 AM
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Grrrrrr...
Sunday, September 14, 2008
More drama than any cyst removal deserves
Woops, didn’t mean to drop off the face of the blogosphere. I had my surgery on September 5th, so I’ve been a bit preoocupied. The cyst removal turned out to be a lot more than that. They have confirmed that I do indeed have endometriosis, and a more advanced case at that. When the doctor went in there, he found a mess. The 9cm cyst on my ovary was just one of the problems. He found another even more massive cyst hiding behind my uterus. For those of you who like gory details, I’ll post pictures when I get them scanned.
In the meantime I have been treated like a princess. My first day home I spent all day in bed watching Harry Potter movies while my sweetheart brought me everything I could possibly need. Meals, snacks, toothbrush, and most of all, lots of love. Day by day I’m able to shuffle around a little better and with less assistance. They gave me a five-day prescription of Vicodin, but I only took a few of them. I’ve heard stories from friends about being crazy-hooked on the stuff, so I tried to avoid them as much as possible. Being an ice cream addict is bad enough. 
The odd thing is that the Big Disaster was not directly related to my health at all. It was, predictably, my mom’s fault. She spent a few days at our house, helping my sweety take care of me by cooking meals and washing dishes. On day three after the surgery, she said that she was going to head back home since I was in good hands. My sweety asked her why she needed to rush off so soon since she had no job, that she should stay longer. It sounded friendly enough to me, but my mom had a completely twisted idea of what she meant.
My mom started talking about when my dad was sick, how she dropped everything to take care of him. She was not so subtly implying that my sweety didn’t want to take care of me, that she was “avoiding her responsibility” to me by asking my mom take care of me instead. I was sitting in the living room, horrified by the escalating exchange between them. Had I not gotten up to stop the argument, it would have become a shouting match.
My stupid mom… she has no idea how many times my sweety has encouraged me to write her and visit as well. She doesn’t see what effort my baby has made to include her as family, despite my tendency to avoid her. For my mom to turn around and accuse her of not wanting to take care of me… well that’s just insulting. My sweety was inviting her to stay longer because she knows, or at least assumed, that moms want to spend time with their daughters. She wanted us to be closer, and even left the house for a few hours so she wouldn’t be in the way of possible bonding.
Instead my mom saw this as “escaping” her “duties”. Un-fucking-believable. No amount of reasoning would convince her that this couldn’t be farther from the truth. I spoke with her privately after the argument for some time, but she refused to be convinced. She apologized for making me sad and ruining my day, but said she was leaving because she didn’t want my sweety to be “spoiled” by my mom’s help. WTF?? Fucking delusional woman. When a person is this clueless and this stubborn, there’s not much you can do.
So once again we’ll be cutting her out of our lives. I’ll give her updates of my health from time to time, but that’s it. I just can’t understand how a person can be so frustratingly stubborn and eager to cling to wrong impressions. All it means is that, despite her outward (and likely two-faced) gestures to be nice to my sweetheart, she still secretly doesn’t believe in the relationship. She doesn’t really accept us. Hell I know for a fact she doesn’t want her friends to find out she has a gay daughter. So fuck you mom, it’s your loss.
