Thursday, August 31, 2006

I'm a what?

While cuddling in bed…

Me: My neck feels tired and stiff.
Her: Again?
Me: Yeah, I’ve got a heavy head. It’s so full of knowledge and wisdom.
Her: It’s full of poopoo.
Me: I’m a poopoo head?
Her: Yes, but your my poopoo head.
Me: Awwww… okay.

I never thought being called a poopoo head could sound so loving and sexy.

Hey my renter isn’t a poopoo head though! She’s in need of some visitors because she’s a self-proclaimed traffic whore bored morning person. It’s Miss Brit, go check her out!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

GDG Through the Decades

The 70s
Born in 1973, I was a 70s baby.  Which means I don’t remember much of that decade… which is fine with me because I’m not a big fan of the music or fashions. Uh, not that I’m much of a fashion person, but anyway… My mom was a decent seamstress so there are a few pictures of the whole family wearing matching outfits. There are even a couple where I match the pillows. That about sums up the 70s for me.

The 80s
These were my formative years. Michael Jackson (when he was normal), The Dukes of Hazzard, and The Muppets were my mentors. It’s a wonder I didn’t turn into a sociopath. I never did the big hair (even then I recognized that it was stupid, I was way ahead of my time) or the parachute pants (I was never cool enough to think they were cool). I was shy with very few friends. I was a television fiend. I had the VCR programmed almost every day of the week to catch shows and movies I didn’t want to miss. My social skills were a bit lacking. I say again, it’s kind of amazing I didn’t turn into a sociopath.

The 90s
The college years were very eye-opening for me.  The 90s were when I started discovering the real me and slowly started stepping out of my shell. I have a hard time naming bands and movies that were big during this time because I was very uninvolved with the rest of the world. (Though I do remember watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turltles III in the theater, LOL!) It was all about me. Stepping out of my mom’s shadow did wonders for my self-esteem. As I liked myself more, so did other people. I actually had friends and was no longer a loner. I remember the 90s with much fondness.

The 00s
First of all, what are you supposed to call this decade that we’re in? The zeroes? The two-thousands? And the next one, is it the teens? The tens? I’m confused. Luckily this is the decade when my personal sense of confusion subsided. I got onto a career path I liked. I became comfortable with my newfound sexuality. Not only that, I found myself in a stable, loving relationship. This is the decade of happiness. I have never beeen so content with my life and everything in it. Everything I’ve been through has made this moment possible. Can you hear the violins in the background? No? That’s because I’ve got the whole orchestra playing. Violins are for sad stories. Mine is a celebration of sappiness, corniness and self-discovery. I’m sure there’s a kazoo somewhere in that orchestra.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Snails

Our garden attracts tons of snails. It’s like some kind of exotic getaway for them. “C’mon guys, let’s go to Club Snail!” Come to think of it, how long must it take for a snail to travel from one yard to another? Or from one plant to the next for that matter? “I’m taking out the garbage honey, be back in an hour!” How much must it suck to be slower than a bad dialup connection?

Slow as these things are, it amazes me how prolific these things are. Once a week my sweety goes in and pulls out 10 or more, but they never disappear. More always take their place. Are they just amazing at reproducing or is snail word-of-mouth bringing in new inhabitants from all around? I can imagine the snail grapevine better than snail sex. One snail tells another, “You have to come to this awesome garden, it’s always moist and there are luscious yummy plants everywhere!” And when that snail never comes back, the others figure he decided to stay in paradise. So then they come over to see what it’s all about. It’s an endless supply of snails.

It’s pretty gross when I’m taking out the garbage and I have to step around 10 smushed slimy snail carcasses. But I’ve found that they serve a pretty good purpose. The ants have a feast. Disgusting thought, I know, but I’d rather they feast on dead snails than go swarming our house for food. I’m really thankful not to have an ant problem, because they are tough to get rid of. And the great thing is, after about a week, between the ants and the sun baking them, they soon become empty, dry piles of shell remnants. A song just popped into my head, “Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind...” Well, all they are anyway. I don’t plan on turning into dust for at least another 100 years.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Music that I REALLY like

Last week I showcased a few tunes that I like to blast when I’m in the mood for something loud.  For some people this would be angry music, but for me, for some reason, it was more for super-happy music.  When I’m mad I need something to calm me down, so it tends to be more like jazz and stuff.

But nevermind all that.  I want to share the music that I love.  Stuff I could listen to no matter what my mood.  It’s a form of electronica called Trance.  This is the stuff that most people will say all sounds alike.  You often hear guys make that beatbox noise in their throats, yeah it’s a lot like that.  But for some reason I love the stuff.  It really helps me focus when I’m at the office.  Here are some fine examples of what can often be heard when I’m concentrating at the office…

(Edit: Links are no longer active. I gave you guys a week, don’t blame me for your tardiness!)

Miss Jane - It’s a Fine Day (ATB Club Mix)
Nostrum - Brilliant
Atlantis vs. Avator - Fiji
Gouryella - Wallhalla (Armin van Buuren Mix)
Foggy - Come into My Dream
Alien Factory - Anytime Anyplace

Like last time, I’m only going to have these up for a week. Enjoy!  And if you hate these, then you should go visit my renter instead. Lots of cussing and stuff, you’ll love it!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Bite me! On second thought please don't

Our poor little furballs have become fleabags. Our supply of Advantage flea killer ran out and we haven’t been able to afford a refill until now. So every week they get a much-hated bath. They’re probablyl wondering what they did to deserve such punishment.

The baths just aren’t enough. Last night I put Big Pest up onto the bed (because I can’t say no, damn pushover), and almost immediately afterwards my feet and ankles started to itch uncontrollably and welts formed. I hate fleas almost as much as mosquitos. But not quite. At least they don’t try to buzz in my ear.

I ordered a new supply of Advantage, but I have to wait for it to arrive. From Australia. It was the cheapest place I could find it, unfortunately. In the meantime we’ll be going nuts with citronella spray. Speaking of which, anyone know of a cheap place to get big refill bottles of citronella oil? So far my search keeps turning up tiny lame-ass 2-ounce bottles. I need the big honkin’ bottle! I just can’t remember where I ordered it last time.

Besides not having pets, what is your flea remedy?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Cheap and Unstinky Crystals

After reading about some people purchasing “crystal kits” for their kids and stinking up the place with whatever weird smells they produce, I decided to share a costs-next-to-nothing way to make crystals that I learned as a kid. I read it in some book about cheap/free science tricks. My mom was stingy so I had to find a lot of free fun things to do on my own.  I’m sure a lot of parents are looking for ways to cut costs but still not deprive the kids. Well here’s one way to save $30.

All you need is to boil water and super-saturate it with sugar (salt should work too, but I used sugar). After it boils you turn off the heat and keep dissolving sugar into the hot water until no more can dissolve into it. (When sugar or salt dissolves, it turns clear. If it’s cloudy it isn’t dissolving.) You can add a bit of coloring if you want. I left mine clear because to me crystals are supposed to be clear, not colored. After it cools down to a temperature you’re able to touch. Pour it into a glass. Then you let it sit in the window sill (or somewhere where it won’t be knocked over) for days as the water evaporates. The more liquid you have, the longer it will take.

My first time doing this I was disappointed at first because all I saw was crusty residue at the bottom of my cup (it was plastic and not see-thru). So I dumped it out and then I found that the crystals had grown upside down. It was so cool. That’s why I recommend a glass so you can see its progress. And it was soooo cheap!

A final note: if you have an ant problem, you may want to see if the salt works instead. You’re basically going to have syrup in a cup until it finishes evaporating.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Cock Flavoured

I was an a little asian foods market this weekend. (Uh, I mean a little market, not a market for little asians, heh.) They have a great fresh fish market in there (I was in the mood for some tilapia, mmmm.) I was standing in the checkout line, just looking around, when I saw this lone soup flavoring packet sitting on a stack of cans. It was almost as if someone placed it there for showcasing its, um, uniqueness. Of course I had to get a low-res cell phone photo of it:

Not chicken flavored. Not even rooster flavored. Cock flavored. Oh yum. I want some of that in my soup.

What I find interesting is that, while I was growing up, my mom (who is Chinese) never said rooster either. “I was born in the year of the ox, like you. Your father was born in the year of the cock.” I always had to find some inner willpower to not burst out laughing every time she said that. “Cocks are very good people.” Mmm-hmm do not laugh he is a very kind person do not laugh.

Whoever is teaching english in the asian countries really need to brush up on their slang. They’re causing a lot of people to embarrass themselves.

Friday, August 18, 2006

This post will self-destruct in 7 days

I generally listen to music at lower volumes. I have sensitive ears and don’t need it blasted in order to enjoy it. But on occasion I just get into the mood to listen to something loud. I prefer electronica and techno, but when it comes to louder-themed music, I like my thump-thump-thump to be accompanied by some heavy guitar and maybe some angry lyrics. This morning I decided to be generous and share a little music with you. You know what this means, don’t you? FREE DOWNLOADS! Wheeeeeeee!

So if you’ve been curious as to exactly what kind of crap I listen to, here’s a little sampling from my “loud” CD, played only in my car because it’s got awesome bass (and it’s about the only place where I actually want to listen to loud music). I haven’t listened to this stuff in months, so bear in mind it isn’t representative of what I usually listen to. Maybe I’ll share those later.

(Edit: This post didn’t actually self-destruct, but the links below did.)

Chemlab - Exiled
Sister Machine Gun - Deeper Down.mp3
Sister Machine Gun - Burn
God Lives Underwater - No More Love
Gravity Kills - Goodbye

These will only be up for a week. Afterwards this post will disappear forever, along with the downloads. I don’t have unlimited server space you know.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Puggy is driving us buggy

If you read my sweety’s blog, you know we’re currently in the possession of an adorable little pug. We liked the fact that she doesn’t go nuts with the barking whenever visitors come. Her reaction is pretty much, “Oh goody! Someone else to love me and play with me!” This little thing is an attention whore.

A jealous little attention whore. If Little Brat or Big Pest ignore her, she barks at them. “Look! At! Me! Play! With! Me!” She thinks their growling, teeth-baring and snapping is a form of play. Yeah she’s a fearless little bugger. “I scoff at the face of danger!”

I mean look at her, sticking her tongue out at Little Brat’s disdain. No respect for her elders I tell ya. We’ve found that we’ve grown rather fond of the much-maligned chihuahua personality. Yes they’re xenophobic with neurotic tendencies, but then again so are we. We are also intensely loyal and loving, as are they. We like the fact that if we accidentally leave the gate open (which we have) and they wander out to the sidewalk, they’ll always come back home. They won’t happily trot off with the first stranger that offers them attention (like the pug obviously did to get lost in the first place).

Don’t worry, we’ve got a home all set up for her with someone else. She’ll be much happier there. And so will we. Uh, be much happier I mean. Just not… over there with the pug. Oh nevermind.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

You mean my oatmeal?

I was in the lunchroom this morning, heating up my bowl of oatmeal. This guy who works on my floor (I’ve seen him around and met him once at some company party recently) was there talking to some people. I’m standing there waiting for the microwave to beep that it’s finished when he suddenly turns around and asks me, “So how much longer?”

I stared blankly at him for a second, glanced at the microwave, and said, “You mean… my… oatmeal?” What the heck was this guy talking about? Why did he care about how much longer it would be before I was done? There were three other empty microwaves!

“No!” he replies. “Aren’t you leaving??”

“Me? Leaving the company? No! You must be thinking of Sandy (*not her real name).”

“Ohhh yeah!”

We look nothing alike. We have different jobs and different personalities. I think someone was drinking too much at that party.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Traffic and ice cream

This morning I was momentarily stuck behind a Dreyer’s ice cream truck. It was slow. It lumbered down the street at half the speed of all the other traffic. This could only mean one thing… it was filled to capacity with ice cream. If you’re going to be stuck behind a large. lumbering vehicle, it might as well be a Dreyer’s Grand Ice Cream truck. You get to have visions of hijacking the truck to distract you from the fact that other cars are whizzing by you in other lanes.

What flavors would you want to find in the truck that you hijack?

Monday, August 14, 2006

My New Hero

I don’t know if y’all have been getting notifications for the numerous test comments I’ve been posting or not. I know I wasn’t. But after some divine intervention, the problem has finally been solved. Tech Wench was gracious enough to lend me her brain power to troubleshoot my problems. Okay, my blog problems. (There are some things that just can’t be helped.)

The following paragraph is for people who actually care about the technical aspect of all this.  I Googled the shit out this problem and couldn’t find anything helpful. Hopefully this post will get indexed and help some other poor sap with the same problem.  So here’s the situation…

I use Expression Engine to power my blog. After moving to the new domain and server, comment notifications stopped working. I was all, “GAH it won’t work!!!” no matter what settings I tweaked. I tried PHPMail, Sendmail and SMTP, all with the same results—nothing. Finally I got help from the technical goddess herself, and my problem was solved. She had me try two things: 1. Reset the permissions on my config file to make sure it was writeable, then turn the notification setting off, then on again. 2. Change the email address that the notification was being sent to. Apparently some people have problems with Yahoo email accounts in that the notifications are never received. They just disappear into nothingness. No bouncebacks, no spam folder, nothing.

After all this I finally received a notification at the new email address. Then later I received one at my Yahoo account. That was just bizarre. But anyway, it’s fixed now. Anyone having these problems should try those two steps and see if one of them helps you. And those of you who don’t care should go worship at the altar of Tech Wench anyway because she just rocks the world.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Blog sweet blog

Ah can you smell it? That sweet new blog smell? Okay it’s not really a new blog, but it’s a new server, new domain, and new blog title. Everything else is pretty much the same. I’m happy now. Time to reward myself with a slice of apple crumble. Mmmmmm…

Friday, August 11, 2006

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

I’m in the process of moving to a new server.  Yes, I know, FINALLY. I’ll finally be rid of this unreliable one. There’s a lot of wonkiness going on.  It seems the changes I make to the database on one blog get applied to the other blog as well. I have no idea why. I’m utterly confused and annoyed.  But at least I lost no data. Yay.

As I change servers, I am also switching domains, one that actually makes sense and is easy to remember. The name of this blog will be changing to “I Live Under a Rock”. I’m so clueless most of the time, I figured the name was appropriate. So as I fine tune everything over here, things will likely look weird over there. I already noticed some of my graphics have disappeared. What the hell.

As I get things sorted out, go visit Jane Loves Tarzan. She unwittingly rented out my space just as rennovations were underway. Sorry ‘bout that!
---

Edit: Well I figured out what my problem was. I forgot to point my other blog’s database connector to the right place. It was still pointing here. Duh. But commenting over there is still screwed up, and I can’t seem to publish anything there yet. *sigh* I gotta get some actual office work done, so I’ll continue this ordeal later. 

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Two things you can shoot with

Usually when I visit my mom, she gives me all sorts of things to take with me when I leave, like food, clothes, candy and other extra things that she might have bought.  This trip was much more fruitful than I had expected. In addition to the usual food and clothing, she gave me a digital camera.  A nice one. I already have a nice digital camera, but this one was even nicer, and smaller! I like smaller. Having to lug a large camera around just isn’t fun or convenient. I knew my sweety would be happy about it too because she’s the photographer of our little household. I just point and shoot and I don’t care much what I’m using as long as the photo turns out fine. This camera (a Canon A620) has more than double the megapixels than our current one (Olympus).

The other unexpected gift from my mom came in a little box. It was the gun that my dad kept in the house. I remember one evening at the dining table when he brought it out and showed my sister and me how to use it. He wanted us to know how in case we ever needed it, though he kept it locked up. Anyway, my mom said she had no use for it and asked if I wanted to take it. I shrugged and said sure. It was tiny and cute, with a wooden grip, and maybe it would be more useful than the baseball bat I keep in the bedroom. Maybe it’ll even become a collector’s item one day.

Anyway, when I got home I eagerly showed my sweety all the loot. She was less excited about the camera than I expected. But she really liked the gun, to my surprise. To quote her, “I’m more excited about this gun than the camera! Isn’t that funny?” I had no idea she missed using a gun that much. She’s had gun training from one of her past jobs, and I guess she missed the target practice.

I’d better not piss her off anymore! 

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